If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
