Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
how does that bad decision feel?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
