She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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