He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
