So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
