Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Duck Duck Cougar?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
