I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
