She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
