never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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