Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
