I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
