i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize