ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
