apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
