I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
