I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
