thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
