I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize