just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
