my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
