how can u be prego again
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
