I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Let's paint friendship bongs
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
