I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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