you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
