I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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