That's intense
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
