Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm passing your future prison.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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