This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
