we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
