he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
