There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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