You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
