wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
