That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
