He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
