It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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