Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When are your genitals available?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
