Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
