If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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