I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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