My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
