What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
