Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
