this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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