Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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