just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
