Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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