There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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