I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
