it glows. i had to have it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
