Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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