I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
