her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
