I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
