guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
