you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
