Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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