If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
