we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i drank out of a bidet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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