If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
