We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize