wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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