Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
