I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize